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Two mother friends with two daughters crossing the road

<p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Hey Sis, </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Let’s talk about the weight we carry as moms—the unspoken truths, the fears we don’t voice, and the ways our pasts shape how we parent. Being a mother to boys and girls is like walking two different paths at the same time, each one filled with unique challenges, hopes, and lessons.</span></p><p>For me, raising daughters is about teaching them resilience, self-worth, and strength. Raising sons, though, comes with its own set of complexities—especially as a Black woman raising Black boys to become men. And through it all, I see how my own childhood, my relationships, and my struggles influence every choice I make as their mother.</p><figure id="figure-tkh8dsftcxm57tmbqi"><img id="tkh8dsftcxm57tmbqi" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1133893547/photo/child-friendly-apps-to-entertain-and-educate.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wG1YKT__D4jT-1zfSehTDmFGcdB_wLmpm4YfcqEzlnM=" alt="Child-friendly apps to entertain and educate" title="Child-friendly apps to entertain and educate" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1133893547/photo/child-friendly-apps-to-entertain-and-educate.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wG1YKT__D4jT-1zfSehTDmFGcdB_wLmpm4YfcqEzlnM=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>The Echoes of My Childhood</h3><p>Growing up, I learned what it meant to survive. My mom’s struggles with addiction and instability meant I never felt fully safe or secure. We moved constantly, never staying in one place long enough to feel like home. Nights were spent checking and rechecking locks while she disappeared to chase her next fix.</p><p>Those experiences shaped me—hardened me in ways I didn’t fully understand until I became a mom myself. I wanted something different for my children. I wanted them to feel safe, stable, and supported. But here’s the thing: when you parent from a place of fear, it’s easy to overcompensate.</p><p>With my daughters, I push them hard—sometimes too hard—because I’m terrified of them falling into the same cycles I had to fight my way out of. With my sons, I’m constantly trying to balance nurturing them with teaching them what it means to be a man in a world that often targets them just for existing.</p><h3>Raising Daughters vs. Raising Sons</h3><p>Raising daughters means teaching them to navigate a world that will try to undervalue them at every turn. I want my girls to know they are powerful, deserving, and capable of achieving anything. But sometimes, I wonder if my toughness hides the love I’m trying to show them.</p><p>Raising sons, on the other hand, feels like preparing them for battle. I want them to be gentle, kind, and compassionate, but I also know the world expects them to be tough, stoic, and unbreakable. It’s a constant struggle—wanting to raise good men while also protecting them from a society that doesn’t always see their humanity.</p><figure id="figure-9dadtb71gsm57ugobe"><img id="9dadtb71gsm57ugobe" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1291295103/photo/african-american-mother-with-two-kids-talking-on-the-phone-while-working-on-laptop-at-home.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=FEJ1SWzl1UeXY3EfAz0jc7HQRorvQrurST77KuCTfmQ=" alt="African American mother with two kids talking on the phone while working on laptop at home." title="African American mother with two kids talking on the phone while working on laptop at home." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1291295103/photo/african-american-mother-with-two-kids-talking-on-the-phone-while-working-on-laptop-at-home.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=FEJ1SWzl1UeXY3EfAz0jc7HQRorvQrurST77KuCTfmQ=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>The Truth About Relationships and Trauma</h3><p>The relationships I’ve had with their fathers haven’t just affected me—they’ve shaped how I parent. The betrayals, the heartbreaks, and the abuse left scars that sometimes bleed into how I interact with my kids.</p><p>I find myself overcompensating, trying to fill the voids their fathers left behind. But Sis, that’s a weight no woman should have to carry alone. It’s not our job to be both parents. Yet, somehow, we find ourselves doing just that—loving, disciplining, teaching, and protecting with no roadmap and no relief.</p><p>Here’s a truth I didn’t want to admit: sometimes, I parent out of guilt. Guilt for the choices I made, guilt for the things my kids have seen, guilt for not being able to shield them from every hurt. But guilt isn’t love, and it’s not the foundation I want to build my parenting on.</p><h3>Something to keep in mind</h3><p>Sis, here’s something we both need to hear: we’re doing better than we think.</p><p>Yes, our past shapes us, but it doesn’t define us. The fact that we even reflecting on how to be a better moms says everything about the kind of mothers we are. We’re present, we’re trying, and that’s what matters most.</p><p>But here’s another truth: our healing matters too. We can’t keep pouring from empty cups. Our kids need moms who’s whole, not ones holding it all together.</p><figure id="figure-xd30qv6tk2m57u30h4"><img id="xd30qv6tk2m57u30h4" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1290287566/photo/mother-daughter-and-son-preparing-spaghetti-and-vegetables-for-lunch-over-a-cutting-board.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=piXmSLwDQMOXTrDBZoxhaFojcxxZwW7dHrcdERFfZjM=" alt="Mother, Daughter and Son Preparing Spaghetti and Vegetables for Lunch over a Cutting Board" title="Mother, Daughter and Son Preparing Spaghetti and Vegetables for Lunch over a Cutting Board" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1290287566/photo/mother-daughter-and-son-preparing-spaghetti-and-vegetables-for-lunch-over-a-cutting-board.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=piXmSLwDQMOXTrDBZoxhaFojcxxZwW7dHrcdERFfZjM=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Breaking the Cycle</h3><p>One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that I can’t shield my kids from everything. I can’t fix every problem, heal every hurt, or control every outcome. What I can do is teach them resilience, model love and accountability, and show them that it’s okay to ask for help.</p><p>For my daughters, I want them to see a woman who knows her worth, who sets boundaries, and who refuses to settle for less than she deserves. For my sons, I want them to see a mother who loves deeply, who values emotional intelligence, and who teaches them that strength and vulnerability go hand in hand.</p><h3>What I’ve Learned About Myself</h3><p>Here’s the truth I didn’t want to face: sometimes, the standards I hold my kids to are really the standards I wish someone had held me to. I push them because I want them to be better, to have more, to rise above. But I’m learning that it’s okay to let them be kids—to let them make mistakes, learn, and grow at their own pace.</p><p>I’m also learning to forgive myself. For the things I didn’t know, for the ways I’ve fallen short, and for the moments I let my past dictate my present. Healing is a journey, Sis, and I’m still on it.</p><h2>Writing Exercise: Reflecting on Your Parenting</h2><p>Take some time to journal about your parenting journey. Answer these prompts:</p><ol><li>What lessons from your past have shaped how you parent today?</li><li>How do you balance raising daughters and sons with their unique needs?</li><li>What is one thing you can do to show yourself grace as a parent?</li></ol><figure id="figure-2uwc5s54dpm57u86eb" class=""><img id="2uwc5s54dpm57u86eb" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1189088293/photo/happy-mother-and-children-in-the-kitchen-healthy-food-family-cooking-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=zrnxGr7mQMVtijvKjAbf-vQow9j-mH-FWRQ2UFND58k=" alt="Happy mother and children in the kitchen. Healthy food, family, cooking concept" title="Happy mother and children in the kitchen. Healthy food, family, cooking concept" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1189088293/photo/happy-mother-and-children-in-the-kitchen-healthy-food-family-cooking-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=zrnxGr7mQMVtijvKjAbf-vQow9j-mH-FWRQ2UFND58k=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><p>Sis, parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. It’s about showing up, even when you’re tired, even when you’re unsure, even when the weight of the world feels too heavy.</p><p>Your past doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t define your kids. You’re breaking cycles, creating legacies, and teaching your children the most important lesson of all: that love, accountability, and resilience can overcome anything.</p><p>You’re not just raising children—you’re rai<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">sing the next generation. And you’re doing an amazing job.</span></p><p><strong>With love and light,</strong></p><p><strong>E 💜</strong></p><figure id="figure-8o6xt1mfwm58t2v94"><img id="8o6xt1mfwm58t2v94" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>

Parenting Through the Pain: How My Past Shapes the Mother I Am Today

<p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Hey Sis, </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Let’s talk about something that’s hard to admit but even harder to live through—choosing to distance yourself from someone you love, someone who’s supposed to love you back, because their denial and lack of accountability are too much to bear. For me, that someone is my mom.</span></p><p>It’s not that I don’t love her. I do. But I had to choose me. I had to choose my peace, my sanity, and my healing over the constant gaslighting, denial, and trauma.</p><figure id="figure-qviyu059bm57qx44n"><img id="qviyu059bm57qx44n" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1766803075/photo/feeling-safe-in-friends-hug.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=xb0N0UuozJ3m8o8qr461LdCoXfnNk7LhYRDP6IVmrEI=" alt="Feeling safe in friend's hug!" title="Feeling safe in friend's hug!" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1766803075/photo/feeling-safe-in-friends-hug.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=xb0N0UuozJ3m8o8qr461LdCoXfnNk7LhYRDP6IVmrEI=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>Denial: The Silent Destroyer</h3><p>What I’ve realized is that her refusal to acknowledge her wrongs is just as harmful as the actions themselves. It’s like trying to heal a wound while someone keeps reopening it, over and over again.</p><p>Each time she denies what she’s done, it feels like she’s telling me my pain doesn’t matter, like my experiences weren’t real. It makes me second-guess myself, questioning if I’m overreacting, if I’m being too sensitive, if I’m imagining things. And that, Sis, is the most dangerous part.</p><p>Gaslighting is insidious. It creeps into your mind and makes you question your own reality. And when it’s coming from someone who’s supposed to love and protect you, it hits even harder.</p><h3>The Weight of Second-Guessing</h3><p>There were moments when I found myself wondering, “Am I crazy? Did it really happen that way?” And that kind of doubt is exhausting. It’s mentally and emotionally draining to constantly replay events in your head, trying to convince yourself that what you lived through was real.</p><p>I couldn’t keep doing that to myself. I couldn’t keep sacrificing my peace for someone who refuses to take accountability. Her denial hinders my healing, and without healing, I can’t move forward.</p><figure id="figure-bmhwwcqikem57r003s"><img id="bmhwwcqikem57r003s" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1766798611/photo/everything-will-be-ok.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9_TSlP-oobyHL5t7RrT_Rkc0DWng5_8QxO0gQ_TT3Vs=" alt="Everything will be ok!" title="Everything will be ok!" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1766798611/photo/everything-will-be-ok.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9_TSlP-oobyHL5t7RrT_Rkc0DWng5_8QxO0gQ_TT3Vs=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>Why Accountability Matters</h3><p>Accountability is powerful. It’s not just about saying, “I’m sorry.” It’s about acknowledging the pain you’ve caused and committing to do better. It’s about giving the other person the space to heal by validating their experiences.</p><p>But when someone refuses to take accountability, they rob you of that opportunity. They keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and confusion, unable to close the chapter and move on.</p><p>I had to break that cycle. I had to stop waiting for the apology that may never come.</p><h3>The Cost of Denial</h3><p>What hurts the most is that her denial isn’t just about avoiding blame—it’s about protecting herself at my expense. She would rather continue the lie than face the truth. She would rather gaslight me than acknowledge her role in my pain.</p><p>That’s not love. Love is accountability. Love is honesty. Love is showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable.</p><h3>Choosing to Walk Away</h3><p>Distancing myself from my mom wasn’t an easy choice, but it was a necessary one. I couldn’t keep sacrificing my mental health for the sake of a relationship that wasn’t built on mutual respect or understanding.</p><p>I had to protect my peace. I had to choose healing. And sometimes, healing means letting go.</p><p>It doesn’t mean I don’t love her. It doesn’t mean I don’t wish things were different. But it does mean I’m no longer willing to put myself in a position where my sanity and self-worth are constantly under attack.</p><h3>Breaking the Cycle</h3><p>What keeps me going is knowing that I’m breaking the cycle. I’m raising my daughters to know their worth, to understand the power of accountability, and to never second-guess their experiences or their feelings.</p><p>I want them to love and respect me, but I also want them to feel safe enough to call me out when I’m wrong. Because love isn’t about always being right—it’s about showing up, being honest, and doing the work to heal together.</p><figure id="figure-1vrnm5av3bm57slfz8"><img id="1vrnm5av3bm57slfz8" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1581047215/photo/child-mother-family-parent-home-woman-happy-daughter-kid-hug-portrait-together-childhood-girl.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=D2abINAPfdV9aQyRBhvECoOULojgZ_pNXQXDJ5wGaXw=" alt="child mother family parent home woman happy daughter kid hug portrait together childhood girl mom female little young love fun beautiful black african american" title="child mother family parent home woman happy daughter kid hug portrait together childhood girl mom female little young love fun beautiful black african american" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1581047215/photo/child-mother-family-parent-home-woman-happy-daughter-kid-hug-portrait-together-childhood-girl.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=D2abINAPfdV9aQyRBhvECoOULojgZ_pNXQXDJ5wGaXw=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>Writing Exercise: Releasing the Doubt</h2><p>Sis, take a moment to write out all the times you’ve second-guessed yourself because of someone else’s denial or gaslighting. Then write down affirmations to remind yourself that your experiences are valid and your feelings matter. End with a commitment to protect your peace, no matter what.</p><h3>My Message to You</h3><p>If you’re in a similar situation, know this: It’s okay to walk away. It’s okay to choose peace over pain. It’s okay to love someone from a distance if being close to them hurts more than it heals.</p><p>You are not crazy. You are not overreacting. Your pain is valid, and your healing is worth fighting for.</p><p>Choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. And Sis, you deserve to heal. You deserve peace. You deserve joy.</p><p><strong>With love and light,</strong><br><strong>E 💜</strong></p><figure id="figure-np742jkpvm58t4pn7" class="selected"><img id="np742jkpvm58t4pn7" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;"></figure>

Choosing Peace Over Pain: Why I Had to Distance Myself

surrealistic portrait front with cut out profile of man

<p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Let’s talk about a dynamic that’s as toxic as it is common: the empath and the narcissist. It’s the classic story of one person who feels everything too deeply and another who thrives on control and manipulation.</span></p><p>If you’re an empath, like me, you know how easy it is to get caught in the web. Your heart is big, your intentions are pure, and you genuinely want to help people heal. But when a narcissist walks into your life, they’ll take that kindness and turn it into a weapon—against you.</p><figure id="figure-zs9bpm81rrm58s81rt"><img id="zs9bpm81rrm58s81rt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1325328493/photo/multiple-exposure-image-with-sunrise-and-sea-inside-woman-silhouette-psychology-concept.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=RNfcliZLvG_kq2RP_iNZE6eghF1ezHpm5PBMxysn3l8=" alt="Multiple exposure image with sunrise and sea inside woman silhouette. Psychology concept" title="Multiple exposure image with sunrise and sea inside woman silhouette. Psychology concept" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure><h3>The Magnetism of Opposites</h3><p>Here’s the thing about empaths and narcissists: <strong>they’re drawn to each other like moths to a flame. </strong>The empath sees the pain behind the narcissist’s façade and wants to fix it. The narcissist sees the empath’s compassion and wants to exploit it.</p><p>It’s a dangerous dance, Sis. One where the empath gives and gives, hoping to fill the void they see in the narcissist, while the narcissist takes and takes, never intending to give anything in return.</p><h3>How It Starts</h3><p>At first, the narcissist is charming, attentive, and everything you think you’ve been looking for. They know exactly how to mirror your emotions, validate your feelings, and make you believe they’re the one.</p><p>But then the mask slips.</p><p>Slowly, they start to gaslight you, dismiss your feelings, and make you question your reality. They’ll take your empathy and twist it, using your love and understanding as tools to control you. And because you’re an empath, you’ll stick around, thinking you can help them change.</p><figure id="figure-030fy2malm58sa1u7"><img id="030fy2malm58sa1u7" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1284548174/photo/african-american-couple-in-fashionable-clothes.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=7iwlt629jC87zheUXECg24C9kBAPFYup3uW3qZvP2Zs=" alt="African american couple in fashionable clothes" title="African american couple in fashionable clothes" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1284548174/photo/african-american-couple-in-fashionable-clothes.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=7iwlt629jC87zheUXECg24C9kBAPFYup3uW3qZvP2Zs=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>The Cost of Compassion</h3><p>Sis, let me tell you something—your compassion is a gift, but not everyone deserves it. Narcissists thrive on empaths because we see the good in people, even when they’ve shown us their bad.</p><p>But here’s what you need to know: <strong>it’s not your job to fix anyone.</strong> Especially not someone who doesn’t want to be fixed.</p><p>Staying in a toxic dynamic with a narcissist doesn’t just drain your energy—it steals your peace, your self-worth, and your joy. And Sis, those are things you can’t afford to lose.</p><h3>Breaking the Cycle</h3><p>So, how do you break free from the empath-narcissist dynamic? It starts with recognizing the signs and setting boundaries.</p><ol><li><strong>Trust What You See:</strong> Narcissists are masters of manipulation, but their actions will always reveal the truth. Don’t ignore the red flags.</li><li><strong>Set Boundaries:</strong> Empaths struggle with boundaries, but they’re essential. Learn to say no, walk away, and protect your energy.</li><li><strong>Stop Trying to Fix Them:</strong> It’s not your job to heal their wounds, especially when they’re unwilling to acknowledge them.</li><li><strong>Focus on Your Healing: </strong>Spend time reconnecting with yourself, nurturing your energy, and remembering who you are outside of the relationship.</li></ol><figure id="figure-e1sh21fgmm58sb984"><img id="e1sh21fgmm58sb984" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1317774409/photo/shot-of-a-young-woman-wearing-her-hair-in-a-bun-against-an-orange-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YK5LxKPbJ6_2_2z8cgSWjp_dOuHa4gQoXTmm34pwaCM=" alt="Shot of a young woman wearing her hair in a bun against an orange background" title="Shot of a young woman wearing her hair in a bun against an orange background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1317774409/photo/shot-of-a-young-woman-wearing-her-hair-in-a-bun-against-an-orange-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YK5LxKPbJ6_2_2z8cgSWjp_dOuHa4gQoXTmm34pwaCM=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>The Empowered Empath</h3><p>Here’s the thing, Sis: <strong>being an empath isn’t a weakness—it’s a superpower. </strong>But like any power, it has to be used wisely.</p><p>When you learn to set boundaries, trust your intuition, and walk away from what no longer serves you, you reclaim your strength. You stop giving your energy to people who don’t deserve it and start pouring it into yourself and the relationships that truly matter.</p><h3>Writing Exercise: Reclaiming Your Power</h3><p>If you’ve ever found yourself in the empath-narcissist dynamic, take a moment to reflect. Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging the ways you’ve been taken advantage of and celebrating the strength it took to break free. Then list three ways you can protect your energy moving forward.</p><figure id="figure-2u1aecao9m58seewh"><img id="2u1aecao9m58seewh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2183585629/photo/smudge-sticks-and-rose-quart.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wyq3j5uXRfNJ-UHP-4b8LGBT2L4O8PQMKP1zqC70e0g=" alt="Smudge Sticks and Rose Quart" title="Smudge Sticks and Rose Quart" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2183585629/photo/smudge-sticks-and-rose-quart.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wyq3j5uXRfNJ-UHP-4b8LGBT2L4O8PQMKP1zqC70e0g=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>My Message to You</h3><p>Sis, the empath and the narcissist might seem like opposites, but they’re drawn to each other for a reason. And while the dynamic can be toxic, it doesn’t define you.</p><p>You are not weak for caring. You are not foolish for wanting to help. But you are powerful when you decide to prioritize your peace and walk away from anything that threatens it.</p><p>So the next time someone tries to exploit your empathy, remember this: <strong>you are not t</strong><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));"><strong>heir savior. </strong>You are your own.</span></p><p><strong>With love, light, and firm boundaries,</strong></p><p><strong>E 💜</strong></p><figure id="figure-lczsi20stmm58s6hph"><img id="lczsi20stmm58s6hph" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;"></figure>

The Empath and the Narcissist: A Dangerous Dance

Portrait of a young man on a pink background

<p><span style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;" data-mce-style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;">Hey Sis, </span><span style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;" data-mce-style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;">Let’s get one thing straight—I am not the one. Not today, not yesterday, and definitely not tomorrow. So when these men (or people in general) think they can spin the block and try me again after showing me who they really are, I’m left wondering: What exactly do I look like to you?</span></p><p><strong>Because it’s giving delusional</strong>.</p><figure id="figure-bxdwamt0qkm58p7lmm"><img id="bxdwamt0qkm58p7lmm" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1424925138/photo/portrait-of-a-young-man-on-a-pink-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ncwG38a0dWsCojgEUxjC2bnzcllUdicaab7lXIz6Mi0=" alt="Portrait of a young man on a pink background" title="Portrait of a young man on a pink background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1424925138/photo/portrait-of-a-young-man-on-a-pink-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ncwG38a0dWsCojgEUxjC2bnzcllUdicaab7lXIz6Mi0=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>We’ve Been Here Before</h3><p>Let me paint the picture for you. He messed up—bad. We’re talking about crossing lines, testing my patience, and absolutely failing to show up when I needed him most.</p><p>And yet, here he comes, months later, acting like we didn’t already have that conversation. You know, the one where I made it clear I’m done? It’s the audacity for me.</p><p>The last time we spoke, he didn’t just show his true colors—he painted the whole damn mural. The dismissiveness, the gaslighting, the "Maybe you’re just overreacting" energy? Yeah, that’s a no from me.</p><h3>Why Do They Always Come Back?</h3><p>Sis, I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s because they think we’re the safe space they can always return to. Or maybe it’s their ego, thinking we’re still sitting around waiting. </p><p><strong>Spoiler alert: we’re not.</strong></p><p>What they don’t realize is that the version of us they think they’re coming back to? She doesn’t exist anymore. I’ve grown. I’ve healed. I’ve leveled up. And honestly, I’m not interested in entertaining people who had their chance and blew it.</p><figure id="figure-ec2ymto47jm58pk0pt"><img id="ec2ymto47jm58pk0pt" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1424925121/photo/portrait-of-a-young-man-on-a-pink-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=o4lhTk6igST21UGspTe5HkWaQbuk1uiYB49VemDkTVI=" alt="Portrait of a young man on a pink background" title="Portrait of a young man on a pink background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1424925121/photo/portrait-of-a-young-man-on-a-pink-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=o4lhTk6igST21UGspTe5HkWaQbuk1uiYB49VemDkTVI=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Protecting My Peace</h3><p>Here’s the thing—I’ve worked too hard to find my peace. The kind of peace that comes from learning to love myself, setting boundaries, and refusing to settle for anything less than respect and accountability.</p><p>So when he (or anyone) comes back, thinking I’m going to entertain the same nonsense I walked away from, my response is simple: No, thank you.</p><p>I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m just... good. I don’t need closure, explanations, or apologies. I’ve already made peace with the situation—and with myself.</p><h3>The Glow-Up Is Real</h3><p>You know what’s funny? They always seem to come back when you’re glowing. When you’ve found your stride, your purpose, your joy. It’s almost like they can sense the happiness they once dimmed shining bright again.</p><p>But Sis, let me tell you something: don’t let them disrupt your glow. You’ve worked too hard to get here. Don’t let their return trip shake what you’ve built.</p><figure id="figure-7qvqjnhuxm58pkkr7"><img id="7qvqjnhuxm58pkkr7" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1424925125/photo/portrait-of-a-young-man-dancing-on-a-pink-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=I9iOc22o1tIR9a-3oxCgmJjjnNBCJQ15a-4PBHtfn4A=" alt="Portrait of a young man dancing on a pink background" title="Portrait of a young man dancing on a pink background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1424925125/photo/portrait-of-a-young-man-dancing-on-a-pink-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=I9iOc22o1tIR9a-3oxCgmJjjnNBCJQ15a-4PBHtfn4A=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>Writing Exercise: Declaring Your Worth</h2><p>Grab your journal and write this out:</p><ol><li>What have you learned about yourself since walking away from someone who hurt you?</li><li>What are three things you will no longer tolerate in relationships, friendships, or life in general?</li><li>Write a letter to your future self, reminding her of the strength it took to let go and the joy she’s found since.</li></ol><h3>My Message To You</h3><p><strong>Sis</strong>, we don’t spin the block over here. We don’t entertain what no longer serves us. We don’t dim our light to make others comfortable.</p><p>Let him wonder why you’re not answering. Let him replay that last conversation in his head. Let him see you thriving and know he fumbled.</p><p>Because here’s the truth: when you choose yourself, you win. When you protect your peace, you glow. And when you refuse to go backward, you open yourself up to everything forward has to offer.</p><p>So the next time someone tries to spin the block, just smile and keep moving. You’ve already passed that test, Sis. No need to <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">take it again.</span></p><p><strong>With love, light, and a whole lot of boundaries,</strong></p><p><strong>E 💜</strong></p><figure id="figure-zilyuc9x9dm58t0gn4"><img id="zilyuc9x9dm58t0gn4" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>

When He Spins the Block: Sir, Leave Me Alone

Red heart shaped sky at sunset. Beautiful landscape with flowers.Love background with copy space. Road to love

<p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-weight: inherit; font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Listen, sis, let’s get real for a minute. Pain? It’s heavy, it’s ugly, and it’s unfair. But let me tell you something—it’s also powerful. The kind of powerful that can take what was meant to break us and turn it into the fire that molds us. As Black women, we know all too well how pain knocks on our doors uninvited. It’s woven into our history, our struggles, and sometimes, our day-to-day lives. But sis, let me remind you of something: we don’t stay down.</span></p><p>We’ve got this crazy, divine ability to turn ashes into beauty, to rise, and to shine even brighter after the storm. That’s what this piece is about. It’s about letting the pain shape us, not break us. It’s about owning who we are and stepping fully into our power as Black women.</p><figure id="figure-6rfxe1mrc9m51h7a6s"><img id="6rfxe1mrc9m51h7a6s" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1468180924/photo/spine-injury-skeleton-and-back-pain-of-fitness-woman-on-mountains-with-sky-background-for.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=gTIKdCnTTwXBHJxHVwjDtZa83z31uerk72P-thtFojU=" alt="Spine injury, skeleton and back pain of fitness woman on mountains with sky background for sports exercise. Athlete, backache and red body bones for first aid emergency, joint pain and muscle anatomy" title="Spine injury, skeleton and back pain of fitness woman on mountains with sky background for sports exercise. Athlete, backache and red body bones for first aid emergency, joint pain and muscle anatomy" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1468180924/photo/spine-injury-skeleton-and-back-pain-of-fitness-woman-on-mountains-with-sky-background-for.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=gTIKdCnTTwXBHJxHVwjDtZa83z31uerk72P-thtFojU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>The Fire That Shapes Us</h2><p>You ever hear about how diamonds are formed? It takes pressure—intense, unrelenting pressure—to turn a lump of coal into something that sparkles and shines. That’s us. Life comes at us with heat, with weight, with pain that feels like it’ll crush us. But instead of falling apart, we come out glowing.</p><p>Black women? We’re the blueprint. Resilience isn’t just what we do; it’s who we are. Through history, we’ve carried the weight of the world on our shoulders—raising communities, surviving systemic injustices, and holding it down for our families. Even when we’re doubted, disrespected, or dismissed, we show up. And that, sis, is something they can never take away.</p><p>But here’s the thing: resilience doesn’t mean you don’t feel the hurt. It means you feel it and still decide to rise. It means turning your pain into fuel, using it to power your dreams, your healing, and your growth.</p><figure id="figure-bu728ln5cm51h4mp3"><img id="bu728ln5cm51h4mp3" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/512592648/photo/hell-fire.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=nIJDa1KEqqCrXnnQT-U_skOfM4soTwLx82zfaqLR4AM=" alt="Hell Fire." title="Hell Fire." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/512592648/photo/hell-fire.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=nIJDa1KEqqCrXnnQT-U_skOfM4soTwLx82zfaqLR4AM=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>The Divine Feminine: Taking Back Our Power</h3><p>Let me tell you something they don’t want us to know: we are divine. The feminine energy within us is powerful, sacred, and magnetic. It’s the kind of power that births nations, heals wounds, and transforms lives. But in today’s world, they’ve tried to dim that light.</p><p>Social media trends and the glorification of competition among women? That’s not us. That’s the noise. We were never meant to tear each other down. Sis, we’re stronger together. Our power multiplies when we uplift each other, when we celebrate our wins, and when we come together as a sisterhood.</p><p>The divine feminine is about embracing your softness and your strength. It’s about knowing you can be vulnerable and still be unstoppable. It’s about rejecting the lies they’ve told us about what we’re worth and stepping fully into the truth of who we are.</p><h3>Building the Sisterhood</h3><p>Here’s the vision, sis: imagine a community of Black women who lift each other up, who hold each other accountable, and who refuse to let any of us fall. That’s what I’m building right here with you. A space where we heal together, grow together, and reclaim our power as the queens we are.</p><p>This isn’t about chasing trends or fitting into someone else’s mold. This is about creating something real, something lasting. It’s about going back to the village—where we protect each other, support each other, and remind each other that we’re not alone.</p><p>Because when Black women come together, the world shifts. We set the tone, we make the moves, and we remind everyone that we are the moment.</p><figure id="figure-ise0ar3lwrm51h3x38"><img id="ise0ar3lwrm51h3x38" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1381266223/photo/beautiful-black-women-posing-in-studio.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=JPiXNgJiDZmKlnTkz692Wj0kuCg0bkMKN5Hjx3elgkc=" alt="Beautiful black women posing in studio" title="Beautiful black women posing in studio" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1381266223/photo/beautiful-black-women-posing-in-studio.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=JPiXNgJiDZmKlnTkz692Wj0kuCg0bkMKN5Hjx3elgkc=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>The Beauty in Pain</h3><p>Sis, if you’re in a season of pain right now, I need you to hear this: it’s not the end. Pain is a teacher. It’s here to show you how strong you are, how much you’re capable of, and what’s waiting for you on the other side. Let it shape you, let it refine you, but don’t let it break you.</p><p>There’s beauty in this journey. The kind of beauty that comes from knowing you survived what was meant to destroy you. The kind of beauty that shines through when you take that pain and turn it into purpose.</p><h3>Join the Movement</h3><p>This is bigger than me, bigger than you—it’s about us. It’s about rewriting the narrative for Black women, reclaiming our joy, and standing in our power. Sis, I want you to be part of this. Let’s heal together. Let’s grow together. Let’s take back what’s ours.</p><p>If you’re ready to step into this sisterhood, join the movement. Together, we’ll build something unstoppable—a community where Black women thrive, where our voices are heard, and where our divine feminine energy shines brighter than ever.</p><p>Sis, you are powerful, you are divine, and you are enough. Let’s do this together.</p><p><strong>With love and fire,</strong><br><strong>E</strong>💜</p><figure id="figure-m1smwjn5vam58tc9uh"><img id="m1smwjn5vam58tc9uh" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32Lczp0aiOtXcUyPL3u9k7C3rvbUEjHv0CwlF7Chrq3AydFW8z6qrfFXIcqWPrlS.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>

The Beauty in Pain – Let It Shape You, Not Break You

Therapy, conflict and hands of couple on sofa for marriage counseling, relationship help and communication. Psychology, love and man and woman on couch for partnership problem, fight and divorce

<h2>Don’t Play Yourself: The Games Guys Play &amp; Why You Need to Set Your Standards High</h2><p>Hey Sis, let’s get real for a minute about the games some guys love to play. We’ve all seen it, felt it, or even been through it—those smooth talkers who know just what to say, but their actions don’t match up. They’re out here wasting time, playing mind games, and trying to see how far they can push you before you catch on. But, Queen, let me tell you why you need to set your standards high and stop letting these clowns play in your face.</p><figure id="figure-ap6nc86n3lzvzrysg" class=""><img id="ap6nc86n3lzvzrysg" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1304231697/photo/sorry-isnt-always-easy-but-it-means-so-much.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1BZS0Rt6onp4PBEkH8Pr8V5xp5IN2JnQnxyyukGwx6U=" alt="Sorry isn't always easy but it means so much" title="Sorry isn't always easy but it means so much" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1304231697/photo/sorry-isnt-always-easy-but-it-means-so-much.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1BZS0Rt6onp4PBEkH8Pr8V5xp5IN2JnQnxyyukGwx6U=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>The Games They Play</h3><p>We’ve all dealt with them at some point—the ones who are all about the chase but disappear when it’s time to get real. They’ll hit you up, talking about how much they like you, how different you are, and how they’ve never met anyone like you before. But when it’s time to make plans, they’re suddenly “busy” or just can’t seem to lock down a date. Sound familiar?</p><p>Then there are the guys who love to keep you on the hook. They give you just enough attention to keep you interested but never enough to really move the relationship forward. It’s like they’re always “almost there,” but something always gets in the way—work, timing, their ex, whatever excuse they can come up with. But the truth is, Sis, if a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen. Point blank.</p><h3>Why They Do It</h3><p>Why do they play these games? Because they can. Because they’re testing the waters to see how much you’ll put up with, how far you’ll go to keep them interested. Some of them are just out here for fun, not looking for anything serious, and instead of being straight up about it, they’ll string you along for as long as you let them.</p><p>They’re not thinking about your feelings, your time, or your future. They’re thinking about themselves and what they can get out of the situation without having to commit. It’s selfish, and it’s toxic. And it’s up to you to put a stop to it.</p><h3>Set Your Standards, Sis</h3><p>Here’s where you take back your power: **set your standards**—for yourself, for your relationship, and for your partner. Your standards are your boundaries, your expectations, your non-negotiables. They’re the things you refuse to compromise on because you know your worth and you’re not about to let anyone waste your time.</p><p>When you set your standards high, you’re telling the world that you know what you deserve, and you won’t settle for less. You’re not here for games; you’re here for something real. And if he’s not ready to meet those standards, then he’s not the one for you.</p><p><img id="qu0ga6mwhilzw02eyz" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/881881700/photo/excited-newly-engaged-couple-take-selfie.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=m-FOCQFyj6QHo8MT6_Lm-rnpk0UsAiiBWsvbMjZdADU=" alt="Excited newly engaged couple take selfie" title="Excited newly engaged couple take selfie" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/881881700/photo/excited-newly-engaged-couple-take-selfie.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=m-FOCQFyj6QHo8MT6_Lm-rnpk0UsAiiBWsvbMjZdADU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" style="border-color: rgba(229,231,235,var(--tw-border-opacity)); --tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-gradient-from-position: ; --tw-gradient-via-position: ; --tw-gradient-to-position: ; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(62,172,255,.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-brightness: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-contrast: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-grayscale: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-hue-rotate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-invert: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-saturate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-sepia: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-drop-shadow: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-blur: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-brightness: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-contrast: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-grayscale: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-invert: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-opacity: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-saturate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-sepia: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-transform: translateX(var(--tw-translate-x)) translateY(var(--tw-translate-y)) rotate(var(--tw-rotate)) skewX(var(--tw-skew-x)) skewY(var(--tw-skew-y)) scaleX(var(--tw-scale-x)) scaleY(var(--tw-scale-y)); --tw-border-opacity: 1; --tw-filter: var(--tw-blur) var(--tw-brightness) var(--tw-contrast) var(--tw-grayscale) var(--tw-hue-rotate) var(--tw-invert) var(--tw-saturate) var(--tw-sepia) var(--tw-drop-shadow); --tw-backdrop-filter: var(--tw-backdrop-blur) var(--tw-backdrop-brightness) var(--tw-backdrop-contrast) var(--tw-backdrop-grayscale) var(--tw-backdrop-hue-rotate) var(--tw-backdrop-invert) var(--tw-backdrop-opacity) var(--tw-backdrop-saturate) var(--tw-backdrop-sepia); --tw-bg-opacity: 1; width: 640px; margin: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; caret-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); aspect-ratio: 16 / 9; object-position: center center;"></p><h3>Why Standards Matter</h3><p>Setting standards isn’t about being picky or demanding—it’s about protecting your peace, your time, and your heart. When you have clear standards, you’re less likely to fall for the games because you see them for what they are. You’re not getting caught up in sweet talk or empty promises because you know that actions speak louder than words.</p><p><span data-mce-style="font-family: var(--body-fontFamily); font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: var(--body-fontWeight, 400); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" style="font-family: var(--body-fontFamily); font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: var(--body-fontWeight, 400); border-color: rgba(229,231,235,var(--tw-border-opacity)); --tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-gradient-from-position: ; --tw-gradient-via-position: ; --tw-gradient-to-position: ; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(62,172,255,.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-brightness: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-contrast: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-grayscale: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-hue-rotate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-invert: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-saturate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-sepia: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-drop-shadow: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-blur: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-brightness: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-contrast: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-grayscale: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-invert: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-opacity: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-saturate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-sepia: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-transform: translateX(var(--tw-translate-x)) translateY(var(--tw-translate-y)) rotate(var(--tw-rotate)) skewX(var(--tw-skew-x)) skewY(var(--tw-skew-y)) scaleX(var(--tw-scale-x)) scaleY(var(--tw-scale-y)); --tw-border-opacity: 1; --tw-filter: var(--tw-blur) var(--tw-brightness) var(--tw-contrast) var(--tw-grayscale) var(--tw-hue-rotate) var(--tw-invert) var(--tw-saturate) var(--tw-sepia) var(--tw-drop-shadow); --tw-backdrop-filter: var(--tw-backdrop-blur) var(--tw-backdrop-brightness) var(--tw-backdrop-contrast) var(--tw-backdrop-grayscale) var(--tw-backdrop-hue-rotate) var(--tw-backdrop-invert) var(--tw-backdrop-opacity) var(--tw-backdrop-saturate) var(--tw-backdrop-sepia); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">Your standards also set the tone for your relat</span><span data-mce-style="font-family: var(--body-fontFamily); font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: var(--body-fontWeight, 400); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" style="font-family: var(--body-fontFamily); font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: var(--body-fontWeight, 400); border-color: rgba(229,231,235,var(--tw-border-opacity)); --tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-gradient-from-position: ; --tw-gradient-via-position: ; --tw-gradient-to-position: ; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-color: rgba(62,172,255,.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-blur: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-brightness: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-contrast: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-grayscale: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-hue-rotate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-invert: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-saturate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-sepia: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-drop-shadow: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-blur: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-brightness: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-contrast: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-grayscale: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-invert: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-opacity: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-saturate: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-backdrop-sepia: var(--tw-empty,/*!*/ /*!*/); --tw-transform: translateX(var(--tw-translate-x)) translateY(var(--tw-translate-y)) rotate(var(--tw-rotate)) skewX(var(--tw-skew-x)) skewY(var(--tw-skew-y)) scaleX(var(--tw-scale-x)) scaleY(var(--tw-scale-y)); --tw-border-opacity: 1; --tw-filter: var(--tw-blur) var(--tw-brightness) var(--tw-contrast) var(--tw-grayscale) var(--tw-hue-rotate) var(--tw-invert) var(--tw-saturate) var(--tw-sepia) var(--tw-drop-shadow); --tw-backdrop-filter: var(--tw-backdrop-blur) var(--tw-backdrop-brightness) var(--tw-backdrop-contrast) var(--tw-backdrop-grayscale) var(--tw-backdrop-hue-rotate) var(--tw-backdrop-invert) var(--tw-backdrop-opacity) var(--tw-backdrop-saturate) var(--tw-backdrop-sepia); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">ion</span><span style="font-family: var(--body-fontFamily); font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: var(--body-fontWeight, 400); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));" data-mce-style="font-family: var(--body-fontFamily); font-size: calc(18px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: var(--body-fontWeight, 400); background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity));">ship. They let your partner know what you expect and what you won’t tolerate. And trust me, the right man will respect those standards. He’ll step up to meet them because he knows you’re worth it.</span></p><h3>How to Set Your Standards</h3><p>First, get clear on what you want and need in a relationship. What are your deal-breakers? What are your must-haves? Be honest with yourself about what you need to feel loved, respected, and secure.&nbsp;</p><p>Next, communicate those standards. Don’t be afraid to let him know what you’re about from the start. If he’s not on the same page, it’s better to find out early on than to waste months or years trying to make something work that never will.</p><p>Finally, stick to your standards. Don’t lower them just because you’re afraid of being alone or because you think he’ll change. You’re too valuable to be settling for less than you deserve.</p><h3>Conclusion: Know Your Worth, Sis</h3><p>At the end of the day, the only way to avoid getting played is to know your worth and demand the respect you deserve. The games will keep coming, but when you set your standards high, you won’t be falling for them. You’ll be too busy living your best life, waiting for the right one who’s ready to step up and treat you like the queen you are.</p><p>Don’t let these guys waste your time. Set your standards, protect your heart, and remember that you deserve nothing less than the best.</p>

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