Blog

<h2>Understanding Heartbreak</h2>
Heartbreak is a universally challenging experience, often leaving one feeling lost and vulnerable. It can be especially daunting when navigating this emotional journey in a bustling city like Milwaukee. However, recognizing heartbreak as a natural part of life is the first step toward healing. Understanding that it’s okay to feel pain and allowing oneself to grieve is crucial in moving forward.

In the midst of emotional turmoil, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Many have walked this path before and have emerged stronger and more resilient. Sharing your experiences and learning from others can provide comfort and guidance during difficult times.

<figure id="figure-epqo3b6ui8m9dpq3hh"><img id="epqo3b6ui8m9dpq3hh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2168136606/photo/milwaukee-skyline-aerial-with-park-and-shoreline.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=5bNU4KREt_mYNtZrTseC3roqoCGW922ZDk6dkH3jwkY=" alt="Milwaukee skyline" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h2>Finding Support in Milwaukee</h2>
The vibrant community of Milwaukee offers a wealth of resources for those seeking solace and support. From therapy sessions to support groups, there are numerous avenues available to help individuals process their emotions and begin the journey of self-discovery.

Consider joining local support groups, where you can connect with others who are also navigating heartbreak. These groups often provide a safe space to express feelings, share stories, and gain insights from people who truly understand what you're going through.

<figure id="figure-wqnjl5poxbm9dpq3hh"><img id="wqnjl5poxbm9dpq3hh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1298226150/photo/milwaukee-wisconsin-cityscape.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=M0tWtkDhF2vjB5PdH2os5wCbLQOTOVVwfhjx4ai4pDI=" alt="Milwaukee support group" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h2>Embracing Self-Care</h2>
Self-care is an essential component of recovery. Engaging in activities that nurture the mind, body, and spirit can significantly aid in the healing process. Milwaukee offers plenty of opportunities for self-care, from its beautiful parks to its serene lakefront views.

Consider taking a walk along Lake Michigan or exploring one of the city's many green spaces. The fresh air and natural beauty can provide a refreshing break from emotional stress and offer moments of peace and reflection.

<figure id="figure-dnpfezl6frm9dpq3hh"><img id="dnpfezl6frm9dpq3hh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2164093536/photo/indiana-dunes-national-park-usa.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=VYf7jL-WQqWjGSh5-baOIiIlacd4hUJfyUnlgLytMDA=" alt="Lake Michigan walk" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h2>Exploring New Interests</h2>
Heartbreak can also be an opportunity for personal growth and transformation. Exploring new interests or revisiting old hobbies can be incredibly therapeutic. Milwaukee's rich cultural scene provides countless opportunities for exploration and discovery.

Whether it’s attending a local art exhibit, trying out a new cooking class, or joining a book club, immersing yourself in new experiences can help redirect focus and bring joy back into your life.

<h2>Building a Supportive Community</h2>
As you navigate through heartbreak, building a supportive community is vital. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and nurturing relationships can provide strength and encouragement during challenging times.

Reach out to friends and family, and don’t hesitate to lean on them for support. Engaging in regular social activities can also help foster new connections and reinforce existing bonds.

<figure id="figure-9o9l48v1n7m9dpq3hh"><img id="9o9l48v1n7m9dpq3hh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1344652237/photo/milwaukee-view.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=o5WWgOTFkEYiYOM3F0We-EMae8h9hzK3DV02fHu6oS8=" alt="Milwaukee community gathering" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h2>Practicing Mindfulness</h2>
Mindfulness practices such as meditation and yoga can be incredibly beneficial during recovery. These practices encourage living in the present moment, helping to reduce anxiety and promote emotional well-being.

Milwaukee offers numerous classes and workshops focused on mindfulness techniques. Consider signing up for a yoga session or attending a meditation workshop to help center your thoughts and emotions.

<figure id="figure-dumc59zxem9dpq3hh"><img id="dumc59zxem9dpq3hh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1356627114/photo/milwaukee-area-technical-college-downtown-building-milwaukee-wisconsin-usa.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=WSYUJQ6h3wGJ1KbYCbQjv2-DSFd2f4t9PhFKvLfqHq8=" alt="Yoga class Milwaukee" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h2>Seeking Professional Guidance</h2>
If feelings of sadness or anxiety become overwhelming, seeking professional guidance can be an important step. Licensed therapists in Milwaukee are equipped to provide the necessary tools and strategies to help manage emotional distress and facilitate healing.

Professional counseling offers a confidential space to explore emotions, develop coping mechanisms, and work towards personal growth. Finding the right therapist who resonates with your needs can make a significant difference in your recovery journey.

<h2>Celebrating Small Victories</h2>
Finally, remember to celebrate small victories along the way. Healing from heartbreak is not a linear process, but acknowledging progress—no matter how small—can boost morale and encourage perseverance.

Each step forward is a testament to your strength and resilience. Whether it’s feeling more at peace, rediscovering joy in everyday moments, or simply getting through the day, every achievement deserves recognition.

<figure id="figure-csfzwo9f0gm9dpq3hh"><img id="csfzwo9f0gm9dpq3hh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1367869121/photo/joy-of-winning-the-gold-cup.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=JH2dkjwBBOIpGc_AWuLnNxHyEtnoH86se943FeNdmNw=" alt="Celebrating success" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

Healing from Love: A Journey Through Heartbreak Recovery in Milwaukee

They told us love would fix everything. That if we just gave enough of it, or found the right man to pour it into us, the pain would fade. That love could erase trauma, silence the past, and save us from ourselves.But what happens when love ain’t enough?What happens when the man who says “I love you” is also the one who broke you? What happens when your love for your kids keeps you pushing, but you still feel empty inside? What happens when love doesn’t feel safe—because your idea of love came from people who never really knew how to give it?For so many Black women, love has been a battlefield. We’ve been taught to fight for it. Sacrifice for it. Stay silent for it. And somehow, we still end up abandoned, overlooked, or misunderstood. But sis, the gag is—love is not the cure. At least not the way they told us it would be.Let’s peel this back. Let’s unlearn what never served us and replace it with truth, intention, and a healing path that actually leads to freedom.<figure id="figure-fd5wzqi1bjm9e8asp1"><img id="fd5wzqi1bjm9e8asp1" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1048803738/photo/theres-no-such-thing-as-too-much-glitter.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=GSbrOXKw2f7dJI1GIApDBfbYfowaifH3Ovol5XD6lQk=" alt="There's no such thing as too much glitter!" title="There's no such thing as too much glitter!" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure><h3>The Myth of “Love Heals All”: Why That Narrative Hurts More Than It Helps</h3>They made it sound so sweet, didn’t they? That fairytale of love being the thing that saves you. That if you just held on long enough—if you loved hard enough—he would change. You would feel whole. Life would get lighter.But the truth is, love without healing is just emotional debt. And we’ve been overdrafting ourselves in relationships that were never equipped to carry our wounds.When I was deep in my trauma, I clung to love like it was a lifeline. I thought it would be the thing that pulled me out of the darkness. But it ended up dragging me deeper because I didn’t realize I was still bleeding—and expecting someone else to stop the bleeding without even knowing where the wound was.That’s why this myth is so dangerous. Because it keeps us stuck. It makes us believe that if the love fails, we failed. It convinces us to settle for crumbs, to stay in cycles, to betray ourselves just to feel wanted.Love is sacred, yes. But it was never meant to be the whole medicine.Journal Prompt: Have you ever used love to avoid doing the real healing work? What was the cost? What did it teach you about what love cannot do?&nbsp;<h3>Communication Is the Real Love Language—Not Just Words, But Vulnerability</h3>You can say “I love you” a hundred times and still not be heard.Real love—healing love—requires truth-telling. Not just surface-level check-ins. I mean gut-level, throat-choking, heart-wrenching truth. And most of us never learned how to do that safely.We weren’t raised to be emotionally fluent. We were raised to be “strong.” So we hold things in, suppress what we need, and show up like we’re fine even when we’re falling apart. We don’t communicate—we cope. We don’t connect—we perform.But sis, vulnerability is not weakness. It’s the bridge between love and healing. Without it, love stays in our heads instead of moving into our hearts. And that’s why so many of us feel unloved even when we’re partnered.When I started communicating from a healed place—not begging, not blaming, just being honest—everything shifted. My friendships got deeper. My relationship with my kids softened. And most importantly, my relationship with myself became sacred.Writing Prompt: What is one truth about your needs, fears, or desires that you’ve been too afraid to say out loud? Write it down without judgment.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-bdq53d22scm9e8unlj"><img id="bdq53d22scm9e8unlj" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1338851474/photo/shot-of-a-young-woman-writing-in-her-journal-at-the-beach.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=mQPN0dv8MIRzrDoyIjiiz2gBT6Ti-P8ujCRqI1Dgbe8=" alt="Shot of a young woman writing in her journal at the beach" title="Shot of a young woman writing in her journal at the beach" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1338851474/photo/shot-of-a-young-woman-writing-in-her-journal-at-the-beach.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=mQPN0dv8MIRzrDoyIjiiz2gBT6Ti-P8ujCRqI1Dgbe8=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>Coaching Is Not Weakness—It’s a Power Move for Healing</h3>Let’s kill this idea that needing help makes us weak. Especially in a world that gaslights Black women into thinking we’re only valuable when we’re self-sufficient.The first time I sought coaching, I was desperate. Lost. Drowning in responsibility, trauma, and guilt. I didn’t need someone to rescue me—I needed someone to help me resurrect me. That’s what coaching did. It gave me tools, reflection, and strategy. But more than that—it gave me permission to be human.Holistic healing through coaching changed everything. It helped me address not just my mindset, but my energy, my habits, my boundaries, and my spiritual alignment. Coaching helped me stop reacting and start responding. It pulled me out of survival mode and reintroduced me to peace.And now? I coach other women through the same transformation. Because healing shouldn’t be reserved for people with privilege. It should be accessible, sacred, and ours.Reflection Prompt: If you had a coach right now who could help guide you back to your center, what’s the first thing you’d want to unpack or explore?&nbsp; <h3>Self-Love Ain’t Just Baths and Candles—It’s Boundaries, Inner Work, and Fire</h3>Social media turned self-love into aesthetics. Pretty bubble baths. Face masks. Vacations. But self-love is warfare, baby. Especially when you grew up in chaos, abuse, or neglect. Loving yourself in a world that profits off your low self-worth is a radical act.Self-love is leaving the room when it’s no longer safe for your spirit. It’s checking your own toxic traits. It’s telling your inner child, “You were never the problem.” It’s creating rituals that pour back into you after the world drained you dry.For me, self-love looked like writing myself out of despair. It looked like turning off my phone to pray and breathe. It looked like holding my babies and telling them, “We breaking the cycle.”Self-love is not a moment—it’s a movement.Self-Love Prompt: What’s one thing your healed self would no longer tolerate? What boundary can you set today in honor of that version of you?&nbsp; <h3>Understanding Love Languages: Your Healing Might Speak a Different Dialect</h3>Some of us were taught to love loud—but received love silently. Others were raised on survival, not affection, so even a small “I see you” can feel like a hug.Knowing your love language—and your partner’s—is not just about romance. It’s about emotional fluency. It’s about safety. Understanding that you need words of affirmation, or acts of service, or physical touch, or quality time—it gives your healing a voice. It teaches you how to ask for what nourishes you.When we don’t know our love language, we accept whatever’s offered. When we do know it, we can start curating our environment and relationships around the kind of love that actually restores us.Love can be present but still feel empty when it’s being spoken in the wrong language.Healing Prompt: What’s your primary love language? Are you honoring it for yourself first—or only expecting others to meet it for you?&nbsp; <h3>Let Go of the Fantasy—Set Real Expectations and Watch Real Love Bloom</h3>Real healing requires us to release the fantasy. Not just of love, but of ourselves.You will not be the perfect partner. They will not be your savior. Healing will not be linear. Love will not always be easy. And that’s okay. Because the most beautiful, sustainable relationships are built on truth—not performance.When I finally let go of what I thought love should look like, I made space for what it actually could be. Messy. Tender. Intentional. Mutual. Healing.That’s when everything changed. Because I wasn’t looking for a hero. I was walking in my own healing—and attracting people aligned with that vibration.You don’t need love to complete you. You need healing to unleash you.Final Prompt: Write a new definition of love based on your healing—not your pain. What does aligned, soulful love feel like to you now?<figure id="figure-333o7g12gjm9e99ls7"><img id="333o7g12gjm9e99ls7" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1414026322/photo/african-couple-hugging-pensive-girl-looking-in-the-distance-while-touching-her-boyfriend.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ZM2lbLf4LOWwddJMCKgvp3TMDuGosYCL_HOE0CVSJKw=" alt="African couple hugging, pensive girl looking in the distance while touching her boyfriend outside. Young feminine afro woman in doubt holding her man while thinking about her relationship problems" title="African couple hugging, pensive girl looking in the distance while touching her boyfriend outside. Young feminine afro woman in doubt holding her man while thinking about her relationship problems" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1414026322/photo/african-couple-hugging-pensive-girl-looking-in-the-distance-while-touching-her-boyfriend.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ZM2lbLf4LOWwddJMCKgvp3TMDuGosYCL_HOE0CVSJKw=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> <h3>Final Words from Coach E: Love Ain’t the Destination—Healing Is</h3>You don’t need to be fixed—you need to be felt. Fully. Softly. Unapologetically.Love is beautiful, but it’s not the bandage. Healing is. And when you start loving yourself from the inside out, love becomes the overflow—not the goal. Real love will find you in that space. But it starts with you choosing you—over and over again.At Ebony Unapologetic and VRN, we don’t just talk healing—we walk it, breathe it, build it. We offer coaching, journaling, collective support, and soul-deep space for women like you to rise. Not in perfection, but in truth.Because healing Black women is revolutionary. And you, sis? You’re part of that revolution.&nbsp; 💕 Feeling this? Join a journaling circle. Come through to Sister Sunday. Book a coaching session with Coach E.Let’s rebuild the village, together. Email me at ek.vrn@wordsbye.com

The Truth About Love & Healing: What Actually Works for Black Women

Milwaukee raised me with battle scars. But it also raised me with brilliance.This blog post ain’t your typical feel-good self-help piece. It’s for the women who’ve been overlooked, underestimated, and overwhelmed—but still show up anyway. It’s for the ones who carry trauma in their chest but still sing lullabies to their babies. It’s for the mothers, daughters, survivors, and soul seekers who’ve been told to “be strong” when all they really needed was a safe space to fall apart and rebuild.This is for you. And me. And all of us who are tired of surviving and ready to thrive—even in a city like Milwaukee, where the odds are stacked and the system ain’t never really been for us.<h3>The Unseen Weight: Societal Pressure on Black Women in Milwaukee </h3>Let’s be real—being a Black woman in Milwaukee hits different. This city don’t just hand you pressure, it piles it on layer by layer. From the second we step outside, we’re navigating expectations we never agreed to. Be strong—but not angry. Be smart—but not threatening. Be nurturing—but not soft. Be successful—but don’t forget to raise the kids, pay the bills, and stay humble.And when you don’t check all the boxes? They label you. Loud. Lazy. Bitter. Ghetto. Unstable.But what they don’t talk about is what it feels like. That pressure that creeps into your spirit when your child comes home crying because the school labeled her as “aggressive” for speaking up. That weight in your chest when your daughter's safety was violated and the system chose to protect her abuser. That sick feeling when you realize the people in power ain’t built to protect girls that look like yours.We carry that. And we’re supposed to smile through it?Nah. Not anymore.Reflection Prompt: What societal expectations have you been carrying that don’t belong to you? Whose voice are you still trying to prove wrong? Write it down. Then cross it out.<figure id="figure-vsizqalfxm9dnhakn"><img id="vsizqalfxm9dnhakn" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1336311181/photo/shot-of-a-young-businesswoman-against-a-studio-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=EF7SFm34emp_EWktmWp9hoVaNu89vaaRrS2XX2aHy4A=" alt="Shot of a young businesswoman against a studio background" title="Shot of a young businesswoman against a studio background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1336311181/photo/shot-of-a-young-businesswoman-against-a-studio-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=EF7SFm34emp_EWktmWp9hoVaNu89vaaRrS2XX2aHy4A=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3> When Community is Survival: Why We Need More Than Just Support </h3>People love to talk about “the power of community,” but they don’t talk enough about how necessary it is for Black women in cities like ours. When you’re fighting invisible battles—trauma, mental health, systemic neglect—community ain’t just helpful. It’s essential.For years, I thought I had to do it all alone. I was raising five kids, surviving domestic abuse, going to school, working, and fighting for justice for my daughter—on my own. But isolation was killing me slowly. That’s when I realized: I didn’t need people to save me. I needed people who could see me.That’s why I started building my own community. Through Words By E, the VRN, and Ebony Unapologetic, I created spaces that felt like exhale. Where we don’t have to shrink. Where we can be soft and strong. Where healing looks like storytelling, breathwork, and shared tears over journal prompts that crack us open.Milwaukee has community. But we gotta be intentional about where we place ourselves. Not all gatherings are sacred. Not all folks are for your healing.Writing Prompt: Who do you feel safest around? What makes them feel like home to you? If you don’t have that space yet, describe what it would look like if it did exist. <h3>Culture, Conflict, and Creation: Milwaukee is the Mirror and the Muse </h3>This city carries trauma in its bones—but it also carries soul.Milwaukee is where my pain turned into purpose. It’s where I was betrayed, ignored, and left to fend for myself. But it’s also where I learned how powerful my voice really was. It’s where Sister Sundays were born. It’s where I held my daughter in one arm while holding a court document in the other, refusing to let the system silence me.From the lakefront to Locust, from Sherman Phoenix to the alleyways of the North Side, Milwaukee is a place of contrast. You can find healing in a drum circle one day and heartbreak in a courtroom the next. And that duality—though heavy—is what makes this city such a powerful place for transformation.We have to start seeing Milwaukee not as a curse but as a mirror. It reflects what still needs healing, but it also reveals who we are when we decide to rise anyway.Reflection Prompt: What part of your city reflects your journey right now? What places bring you peace? What places trigger you? Explore why.<figure id="figure-5plua5dcdjm9dnkqns"><img id="5plua5dcdjm9dnkqns" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2167168985/photo/aerial-view-of-downtown-milwaukee-on-a-sunny-summer-day-wisconsin.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=zDDb10T3WFtVhpyVYjSg3l0Aw2HDkjvXl1hSqefN57U=" alt="Aerial view of Downtown Milwaukee on a sunny summer day, Wisconsin" title="Aerial view of Downtown Milwaukee on a sunny summer day, Wisconsin" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="no-rounded" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2167168985/photo/aerial-view-of-downtown-milwaukee-on-a-sunny-summer-day-wisconsin.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=zDDb10T3WFtVhpyVYjSg3l0Aw2HDkjvXl1hSqefN57U=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3> &nbsp;Real-World Strategies for Growth When the Odds Are Stacked </h3>Let’s not just talk about the pain. Let’s talk about the plan.Because despite everything Milwaukee has thrown at me—every betrayal, every courtroom disappointment, every “you should just let it go”—I found a way to turn the chaos into clarity. Not overnight, and not without setbacks. But with intention, alignment, and truth.Here are strategies that kept me from sinking:<ul style="list-style-type: square;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: square;"><li>Radical Self-Awareness: You have to know where you’re at to know where you’re going. Journaling saved me. It helped me name the emotions before they drowned me.</li><li>Rest as Rebellion: You’re not lazy. You’re exhausted. Rest ain't weakness—it’s a weapon. Take your nap. Block that number. Skip that event.</li><li>Boundaries that Stick: Stop betraying yourself for the comfort of others. If it costs your peace, it's too expensive.</li><li>Connect with Aligned People: You don’t need a crowd. You need connection. Find one person who sees the real you and build from there.</li></ul>Coaching Prompt: Write a list of things that have drained you in the last 30 days. Then write a list of what poured back into you. What needs to shift?<h3>&nbsp;This Ain’t Just Growth—It’s a Whole Rebirth </h3>Personal growth ain't cute. It's messy. It’s screaming on the bathroom floor. It’s court dates and CPS threats and anxiety attacks at midnight. But it’s also clarity. It’s God whispering in your ear when the world gets too loud. It’s holding your child’s hand and realizing you broke a generational curse without even knowing it.My path didn’t get easier. I just got wiser. More aligned. More grounded in the woman I’m becoming and less ashamed of who I was.Milwaukee didn’t hand me peace. I had to build it brick by brick—with journal entries, tears, affirmations, and all the strength I didn’t even know I had.And I’m telling you now—you can too.Healing Prompt: What’s one moment in your life that felt like a breaking point—but ended up being a turning point? Write that story from a place of power.<h3>In Closing: Keep Walking—Even When It Feels Like Nobody’s Watching </h3>If nobody else told you this today, hear it from me—you are not crazy. You are not weak. You are not too much. You are called, sis. You are chosen. And you are needed.Milwaukee might never apologize for the pain it caused you. The judge may never admit they were wrong. The system may never change fast enough. But that doesn’t stop your healing. That doesn’t stop your purpose. That doesn’t stop the movement we’re building for ourselves and our daughters.Keep walking. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s dark. Even when it’s lonely. Because somewhere along this path, you’re going to meet the version of you that survived all of it—and she’s gonna look back and say, “Damn sis… you really did that.”<h3>✨ Did this resonate with you? </h3>Follow Coach E, join a Sister Sunday, or tap into one of our healing collectives. To get connected, send contact info to <a href="mailto:ek.vrn@wordsbye.com" data-mce-href="mailto:ek.vrn@wordsbye.com">ek.vrn@wordsbye.com</a>.&nbsp; Let’s build this village—for real. One story at a time.

Unapologetically Me: Thriving Through the Pressure in Milwaukee

Rusty Heart Shape is Demolishing and Collapsing

<span style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;" data-mce-style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;">Sis, let’s be honest: the world has never made space for Black women to truly be safe. From the moment we enter this world, we are told to be strong, resilient, and unbreakable. But where has that strength gotten us when it comes to protection, justice, and safety?The truth is, there has never been a moment in history where the fight was truly about protecting us. Not in the courts, not in the streets, not even in the systems meant to serve justice. And the constant mistreatment and abuse of Black women is a testament to that neglect.Let’s dig deeper into this, because it’s time to ask the hard questions—and it’s time to demand change.<figure id="figure-c0xn7oh3uam6hza83o"><img id="c0xn7oh3uam6hza83o" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1321242525/photo/studio-shot-of-an-attractive-young-woman-using-a-megaphone-against-a-blue-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=oBIaxjLXzeO1G6IUKEmIh4U2E5IoIAi3_Zf9EHF96TM=" alt="Studio shot of an attractive young woman using a megaphone against a blue background" title="Studio shot of an attractive young woman using a megaphone against a blue background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="no-rounded" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1321242525/photo/studio-shot-of-an-attractive-young-woman-using-a-megaphone-against-a-blue-background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=oBIaxjLXzeO1G6IUKEmIh4U2E5IoIAi3_Zf9EHF96TM=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>The Violence Black Women Face</h3>Black women are among the most vulnerable to violence, yet our stories are often ignored, dismissed, or forgotten.Domestic Violence: Black women experience intimate partner violence at disproportionately high rates. And when we do speak up, we’re often met with doubt or judgment instead of support.Sexual Assault: Our pain is often minimized. We’re told to “move on,” or worse, we’re blamed for what happened to us.Police Violence: Black women face police brutality too, but our names rarely make the headlines. We’re fighting the same systems of oppression, yet our stories are often an afterthought.Missing Women: Thousands of Black women and girls go missing every year, and their cases barely get media coverage. Families are left to investigate on their own because the system simply doesn’t care enough to look for us.This isn’t just neglect—it’s systemic violence.<h3>Why Are We Ignored?</h3>So why does the world turn a blind eye to Black women’s suffering?1. StereotypesSociety loves to paint Black women as strong, angry, and invulnerable. These stereotypes dehumanize us, making it easier for people to ignore our pain.2. Historical NeglectFrom slavery to segregation to modern-day discrimination, Black women have been at the bottom of the social hierarchy. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our safety doesn’t matter—and so has everyone else.3. Systemic RacismThe justice system was never designed to serve us. Our cries for help are met with indifference, and our cases are pushed to the bottom of the pile.4. PatriarchyViolence against women is often dismissed as a “private matter” instead of being treated as the societal crisis it is. And when race is added to the equation, the level of disregard multiplies.The result? A society where Black women are left to fend for ourselves, even in the face of unimaginable harm.<figure id="figure-lwk3iw7l4xm6hzd2b4"><img id="lwk3iw7l4xm6hzd2b4" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1491890282/photo/fighting-for-humanity-womans-clenched-fist-rises-in-front-of-a-group-of-many-people-blurred.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Rweujmo92zOAebX2hKfWdirMJXFdmMoRpRpQP5o8lOY=" alt="Fighting for humanity: woman's clenched fist rises in front of a group of many people, blurred into abstraction" title="Fighting for humanity: woman's clenched fist rises in front of a group of many people, blurred into abstraction" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="no-rounded" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1491890282/photo/fighting-for-humanity-womans-clenched-fist-rises-in-front-of-a-group-of-many-people-blurred.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Rweujmo92zOAebX2hKfWdirMJXFdmMoRpRpQP5o8lOY=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>The Cost of Neglect</h3>The constant mistreatment of Black women doesn’t just harm us—it harms everyone.The Harmed: We carry the weight of trauma while the world expects us to keep moving forward as if nothing happened.The Perpetrators: Without accountability, those who harm us are free to harm again.The Community: When Black women are unprotected, the ripple effects touch every part of society. We are the backbone of our families and communities, yet our safety is treated as expendable. This isn’t just about individual cases—it’s about a systemic failure that leaves all of us worse off.<h3>The Need for Change</h3>Sis, the fight to protect Black women is long overdue. We can’t wait for the world to decide we’re worthy of protection—we have to demand it.Here’s what needs to happen:1. Center Black Women’s VoicesOur stories matter. Our experiences matter. It’s time to amplify them and refuse to be silenced.2. Demand AccountabilityFrom law enforcement to the judicial system, we must hold institutions accountable for their neglect of Black women.3. Invest in HealingWe need resources that focus on healing Black women—mentally, emotionally, and physically.4. Build Community SupportWhen the system fails, we have to support each other. That means creating spaces where Black women can feel safe, heard, and empowered.<h3>Writing Exercise: Reflecting on Protection and Support</h3>If you’re ready to engage in this fight, start by reflecting on these questions:1. What Does Protection Look Like?Write about what it would mean to feel fully protected as a Black woman.2. How Have You Experienced Neglect?Reflect on a time when you felt unprotected or unheard. How did it impact you?3. What Role Can You Play?Think about how you can support the safety and well-being of Black women in your community.4. Who Are the Protectors in Your Life?Identify the people or spaces that make you feel safe. How can you expand that network for others?5. Affirm Your WorthWrite this affirmation: I am worthy of protection, respect, and love. My safety and my voice matter.<figure id="figure-7rwzfhj05cm6hzhx71"><img id="7rwzfhj05cm6hzhx71" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/918938866/photo/good-teams-become-great-ones-when-they-support-each-other.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ZtQXn_Nt3Zo_FoAjHvjhhVxDn5Y3sK8RiUS2PHxjNZg=" alt="Good teams become great ones when they support each other" title="Good teams become great ones when they support each other" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/918938866/photo/good-teams-become-great-ones-when-they-support-each-other.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ZtQXn_Nt3Zo_FoAjHvjhhVxDn5Y3sK8RiUS2PHxjNZg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>Supporting the VRN</h2>If this resonates with you, I urge you to support the Victim Retribution Network (VRN).The VRN is dedicated to uplifting and empowering Black women and girls who have been harmed. We’re fighting for a world where our stories are heard, our safety is prioritized, and justice is truly served.You can help by:<ul><li>Donating: Every contribution supports our mission to protect and advocate for Black women.</li><li>Volunteering: Join us in building a network of support and resources.</li><li>Spreading the Word: Share our mission and encourage others to join the fight.</li></ul>Together, we can create a world where Black women are valued, protected, and celebrated. Learn more and get involved at [insert link or details here].<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>Sis, the fight for Black women’s safety isn’t just our fight—it’s everyone’s fight. It’s about creating a society where no one is left behind, where no harm goes unanswered, and where every voice matters.Let’s keep pushing. Let’s keep speaking. And let’s build a future where Black women don’t just survive—we thrive.With love and fire,Coach E ❤️

Unprotected and Undervalued: The Fight to Protect Black Women

3d render, balancing balls placed on scales or weigher, isolated on blue background

<span style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;" data-mce-style="background-color: rgba(249,250,251,var(--tw-bg-opacity)); font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); font-weight: inherit;">Sis, let’s keep it all the way real. Being the “strong one” sounds good until you’re the one carrying the weight. People love to throw around phrases like, “You’re so strong,” but rarely do they stop and ask, “Sis, how are you really holding up?”Let me tell you—sometimes that strength feels like a whole damn boulder on your back. And honestly? It gets heavy.<figure id="figure-sxa96df6oam6i1mnla"><img id="sxa96df6oam6i1mnla" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2007594847/photo/sisyphean-task-under-a-fiery-sky.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=musWFC91ka6Oe4HWeYCxt8DbBzXMBIbcfz6y9m1zxC4=" alt="Sisyphean Task Under a Fiery Sky" title="Sisyphean Task Under a Fiery Sky" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="no-rounded" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2007594847/photo/sisyphean-task-under-a-fiery-sky.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=musWFC91ka6Oe4HWeYCxt8DbBzXMBIbcfz6y9m1zxC4=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure><h3>The Weight of Strength</h3>From the outside, people see a boss—a woman who’s got it all together, always on her game, always showing up. But what they don’t see is the toll it takes. They don’t see the sleepless nights, the silent tears, or the moments you’re sitting in your car, parked in the driveway, taking a deep breath before walking into yet another situation that needs you.Strength is beautiful, but it can also feel suffocating.And here’s the thing: it doesn’t come with a manual. Nobody tells you how to carry it without breaking. Nobody teaches you how to let people in when you’ve been taught to just “handle it.” So, you keep going. You keep pushing. Until one day, you look up, and it’s too much.<h3>The Lie We’ve Been Sold</h3>For too long, we’ve been told that strength means silence. That showing emotions is weak. That asking for help is out of the question. And let’s be real—some of us have been carrying that lie like it’s a badge of honor.I used to think I had to be the rock for everyone. That if I crumbled, the whole foundation would collapse. But sis, let me tell you something: strength isn’t about pretending you’re invincible. It’s about knowing when to say, “I’m not okay.”You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.<h3>Vulnerability is Power</h3>I know, I know. Vulnerability sounds like one of those self-help buzzwords that makes you roll your eyes. But listen—there’s power in letting people see the real you.The day I let my guard down and told someone, “I can’t handle this alone,” was the day I finally started to breathe again. Because here’s the truth: being strong doesn’t mean you have to do it all by yourself.When you let people in, you give them the chance to show up for you. And sis, you deserve to be shown up for.Vulnerability doesn’t weaken you—it frees you.<figure id="figure-d459wpc20km6i1olry"><img id="d459wpc20km6i1olry" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1015961436/photo/balance.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=N4g6FgHtXxD4ZbzRED2UH-S4ZNk7bXcCzkY2C-ZC0dg=" alt="balance" title="balance" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="no-rounded" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1015961436/photo/balance.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=N4g6FgHtXxD4ZbzRED2UH-S4ZNk7bXcCzkY2C-ZC0dg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Putting Yourself First</h3>Let’s be real. When you’re the strong one, you’re used to showing up for everyone else. But when was the last time you showed up for you?Sis, self-care is not just bubble baths and candles. It’s saying no to things that drain you. It’s creating boundaries that protect your peace. It’s choosing to rest without guilt because you’ve earned it.You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you shouldn’t have to.Start small: take five minutes to breathe, write down your thoughts, or even just sit in silence. The point is to remind yourself that you matter too.<h3>Redefining Strength</h3>Let’s flip the script on what strength really means.Strength isn’t about being unbreakable—it’s about being real. It’s about letting yourself feel, letting yourself rest, and letting yourself heal. Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is say, “Not today.”Sis, you don’t have to carry it all. You don’t have to keep pretending you’re okay when you’re not. Put the weight down. Take a breath. Give yourself permission to just be.<h3>A Writing Exercise: Laying Down the Weight</h3>If you’re feeling the weight of being the strong one, here’s an exercise to help you let it go:1. Name the WeightWrite down everything you’re carrying right now. Be raw. What’s keeping you up at night?2. Ask for HelpPick one thing on that list you can delegate or share. Who can help lighten your load?3. Set a BoundaryWhat’s one thing you can say no to this week? Say it loud and proud: “Not today!”4. Celebrate Your StrengthWrite about what you’ve overcome. Give yourself credit for being the incredible, resilient woman you are.5. Affirm Your PowerEnd with an affirmation: I am strong, but I don’t have to carry it all. I choose rest, peace, and support.<figure id="figure-3njnh45dfm6i1qqr2"><img id="3njnh45dfm6i1qqr2" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1924683855/photo/you-only-fail-when-you-stop-trying.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=f5x9xnOog-AfcKRhd8z3_4tmzx4eC7hvWKeFz7RqKKQ=" alt="You only fail when you stop trying" title="You only fail when you stop trying" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="no-rounded" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure><h3>Final Thoughts</h3>Sis, being strong is a blessing and a burden. But you don’t have to carry it all alone. You don’t have to keep proving yourself to people who already know you’re incredible.True strength isn’t in the weight you carry—it’s in knowing when to let it go. It’s in asking for help, setting boundaries, and putting yourself first without apology.So today, put the weight down. Take a deep breath. You’re strong, but you’re also human. And that’s more than enough.With love,Coach E ❤️

When Strength Feels Heavy: The Truth About Carrying It All

Sis, let’s talk about trauma. Not just the word, but the weight of it. The way it sits in our spirit, shifts our energy, and sometimes makes us feel like we’re stuck in survival mode. Trauma ain’t just “going through something”—it’s the deep, soul-shaking experiences that leave a mark on our mind, body, and spirit. It can come from abuse, neglect, betrayal, violence, loss, or even moments we don’t fully understand until later.But here’s the truth—you don’t have to stay bound by what hurt you. Healing is a process, a fight, a journey—and I’m walking it with you. Let’s break this down together.<h3>How Trauma Shows Up in Your Life </h3>Trauma has a slick way of showing up, sometimes loud, sometimes real quiet. It doesn’t always look like breaking down crying—it can be:<ul style="list-style-type: square;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: square;"><li>Feeling anxious or on edge for no reason</li><li>Shutting down emotionally when things get too real Snapping on folks over small things.</li><li>Feeling like you gotta be strong all the time (because being weak was never an option)</li><li>Distrusting people, even when they mean well</li><li>Feeling stuck, like you ain’t really living, just existing </li></ul>EXERCISE: SELF-CHECK MOMENT ✍🏾 📝 Grab your journal or your notes app—write down the moments when you feel most overwhelmed, anxious, or shut down. What triggered that feeling? What were you thinking? Understanding your patterns is the first step to reclaiming your peace.<h3>Triggers: The Unseen Chains </h3>A trigger is anything that brings back that pain like it just happened yesterday. It could be a song, a smell, a place, a tone of voice—something that takes you right back to the moment when you felt small, unsafe, or unseen.But listen to me: triggers don’t own you. They’re just road signs, pointing you toward what still needs healing. And the more you recognize them, the more power you take back.EXERCISE: TAKE BACK YOUR POWER 🛑 📝 Write down 3 things that trigger you. Next to each one, list one way you can take control when it happens (breathing, grounding, walking away, affirmations—whatever feels good to you).Example: Trigger: Loud arguments Response: Remind myself, “I am safe. I am in control. The past is not my present.”<h3>&nbsp; Healing Ain’t Pretty, But It’s Powerful </h3>Healing is messy. It’s ugly crying at 2 AM, it’s feeling good one day and broken the next, it’s wanting to give up but choosing yourself anyway. But you know what else? Healing is also freedom.You don’t have to do it alone either. Therapy, mindfulness, journaling, community—all of it helps. And your healing is YOURS. You set the pace, you write the rules, you decide what you need.EXERCISE: WHAT DOES HEALING LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? 💡 📝 Close your eyes for a second and imagine your healed self. How does she walk? How does she speak? What does she no longer tolerate? Write a letter to her from your current self. Tell her you’re coming for her.<h3>&nbsp; Sis, You Are Not Alone </h3>One of the biggest lies trauma tells us is that we gotta go through it alone. But listen to me: you deserve safe spaces. You deserve people who see you, who hold you up, who remind you that your past doesn’t define you.If you don’t have that yet, let’s build it. Find your people. Join support groups. Go to therapy. Follow pages that pour into you (and unfollow anything that drains your spirit).EXERCISE: BUILD YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM 🌱 📝 List 3 people (or spaces) you can turn to when you need to feel safe. If you don’t have them yet, write down one step you’ll take to start finding your tribe.<h3>&nbsp; The Journey to Reclaiming YOU </h3>Healing from trauma isn’t about erasing what happened—it’s about choosing to no longer let it control you. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become.You are worthy of peace. You are worthy of joy. You are worthy of love—especially from yourself.EXERCISE: FINAL REFLECTION 💖 📝 What’s one promise you’re making to yourself on this healing journey? Write it down and say it out loud. This is YOUR moment to take back what’s yours.✨ Drop a comment or share one of your reflections with me—let’s heal loud together! ✨Sis, you are not just surviving. You are rising. And I see you.&nbsp;With love and fire, Coach E&nbsp; ✨💛

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