When Strength Feels Heavy: The Truth About Carrying It All

Sis, let’s keep it all the way real. Being the “strong one” sounds good until you’re the one carrying the weight. People love to throw around phrases like, “You’re so strong,” but rarely do they stop and ask, “Sis, how are you really holding up?”

Let me tell you—sometimes that strength feels like a whole damn boulder on your back. And honestly? It gets heavy.

The Weight of Strength

From the outside, people see a boss—a woman who’s got it all together, always on her game, always showing up. But what they don’t see is the toll it takes. They don’t see the sleepless nights, the silent tears, or the moments you’re sitting in your car, parked in the driveway, taking a deep breath before walking into yet another situation that needs you.

Strength is beautiful, but it can also feel suffocating.

And here’s the thing: it doesn’t come with a manual. Nobody tells you how to carry it without breaking. Nobody teaches you how to let people in when you’ve been taught to just “handle it.” So, you keep going. You keep pushing. Until one day, you look up, and it’s too much.

The Lie We’ve Been Sold

For too long, we’ve been told that strength means silence. That showing emotions is weak. That asking for help is out of the question. And let’s be real—some of us have been carrying that lie like it’s a badge of honor.

I used to think I had to be the rock for everyone. That if I crumbled, the whole foundation would collapse. But sis, let me tell you something: strength isn’t about pretending you’re invincible. It’s about knowing when to say, “I’m not okay.”

You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

Vulnerability is Power

I know, I know. Vulnerability sounds like one of those self-help buzzwords that makes you roll your eyes. But listen—there’s power in letting people see the real you.

The day I let my guard down and told someone, “I can’t handle this alone,” was the day I finally started to breathe again. Because here’s the truth: being strong doesn’t mean you have to do it all by yourself.

When you let people in, you give them the chance to show up for you. And sis, you deserve to be shown up for.

Vulnerability doesn’t weaken you—it frees you.

Putting Yourself First

Let’s be real. When you’re the strong one, you’re used to showing up for everyone else. But when was the last time you showed up for you?

Sis, self-care is not just bubble baths and candles. It’s saying no to things that drain you. It’s creating boundaries that protect your peace. It’s choosing to rest without guilt because you’ve earned it.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you shouldn’t have to.

Start small: take five minutes to breathe, write down your thoughts, or even just sit in silence. The point is to remind yourself that you matter too.

Redefining Strength

Let’s flip the script on what strength really means.

Strength isn’t about being unbreakable—it’s about being real. It’s about letting yourself feel, letting yourself rest, and letting yourself heal. Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is say, “Not today.”

Sis, you don’t have to carry it all. You don’t have to keep pretending you’re okay when you’re not. Put the weight down. Take a breath. Give yourself permission to just be.

A Writing Exercise: Laying Down the Weight

If you’re feeling the weight of being the strong one, here’s an exercise to help you let it go:

1. Name the Weight

Write down everything you’re carrying right now. Be raw. What’s keeping you up at night?

2. Ask for Help

Pick one thing on that list you can delegate or share. Who can help lighten your load?

3. Set a Boundary

What’s one thing you can say no to this week? Say it loud and proud: “Not today!”

4. Celebrate Your Strength

Write about what you’ve overcome. Give yourself credit for being the incredible, resilient woman you are.

5. Affirm Your Power

End with an affirmation: I am strong, but I don’t have to carry it all. I choose rest, peace, and support.

Final Thoughts

Sis, being strong is a blessing and a burden. But you don’t have to carry it all alone. You don’t have to keep proving yourself to people who already know you’re incredible.

True strength isn’t in the weight you carry—it’s in knowing when to let it go. It’s in asking for help, setting boundaries, and putting yourself first without apology.

So today, put the weight down. Take a deep breath. You’re strong, but you’re also human. And that’s more than enough.

With love,

Coach E ❤️