Recognizing Provoking Spirits and Cutting Them Off

Let me start by saying this, sis: not everyone who walks with you is meant to stay with you. Sometimes, the people closest to us—the ones we trust with our secrets, our struggles, and even our dreams—aren’t aligned with where we’re going. And when their energy starts to provoke instead of protect, that’s your sign to let them go.

Let me share my story with you. It’s personal, it’s raw, and it’s something I never thought I’d face. But I’ve learned that sometimes the people who know us best don’t really know us at all.

The Friendship That Should’ve Ended Sooner

I had a best friend for 13 years—my biggest supporter, my secret keeper, my rock. We started out with a spark; he was my crush, and for a moment, I thought there could be more. But life had other plans. I wasn’t what he wanted to commit to, so I moved on, but somehow, we stayed close.

Honestly, I don’t even know why it lasted so long. I left town, tried to create some distance, but he insisted we remain in each other’s lives. He was persistent, always pulling me back in when I thought it was time to let go. Our connection felt unshakable. Nothing—not my men, not his women—seemed to come between us.

But then life happened.

The Shift I Couldn’t Ignore

Everything started to change while he was in jail. At first, we were fine, picking up where we left off after a pause. But when my life got messy—dealing with my daughter’s father and fighting my own case—I started to see a different side of him.

I confided in him, poured out my frustrations and pain, only to be met with judgment. He called me angry, bitter, like I was the problem. When I told him my daughter’s father wasn’t sorry for what he’d done, he didn’t hear me. Instead, he belittled my feelings, twisted my pain into something ugly, as if I wanted to blame for the sake of blaming.

Then he crossed a line I’ll never forget. He demanded answers about my past relationship—the abuse I endured, the choices I made to survive. His voice was harsh, his tone accusatory. It wasn’t the friend I knew. It wasn’t the person who had been my safe space.

Something about that moment was different. It wasn’t just the words he said; it was the spirit behind them. It felt dark, unsettling, like his energy was meant to provoke, not support. And sis, I don’t entertain that kind of energy.

Provoking Spirits: What They Are and How to Spot Them

Have you ever noticed how certain people drain your energy instead of lifting it? How they poke at your wounds instead of helping you heal? That’s what provoking spirits do. They come disguised as friends, partners, even family, but their presence disrupts your peace and pulls you out of alignment.

A provoking spirit will:

• Dismiss your feelings: They make you feel like your pain isn’t valid or that you’re overreacting.
• Question your worth: Instead of affirming your strength, they pick at your scars and try to make you explain why you’re not enough.
• Shift your focus: They steer conversations to your mistakes or flaws, ignoring the real issues at hand.
• Drain your energy: After every interaction, you feel depleted, angry, or confused instead of uplifted.

These spirits are dangerous because they’re subtle. They mask themselves in familiarity and loyalty, making it harder to see their true intentions. But sis, when you recognize them, you have to act.

The Power of Letting Go

That day, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to explain my pain to someone who didn’t deserve to hold it. I wasn’t going to defend my choices or justify my survival to someone who refused to see me. And I sure wasn’t going to keep someone in my life who provoked my spirit instead of protecting it.

So, I cut him off. Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

It hurt—I won’t lie. Letting go of someone who’s been a part of your life for so long is never easy. But sis, your peace is priceless. And sometimes, protecting your peace means walking away from people who can’t respect it.

The Blessing in the Goodbye

Not long after, I came across a sermon about provoking spirits, and it felt like it was meant just for me. It reminded me that not everyone is meant to walk with us on our journey. Some people come into our lives to teach us lessons, and once those lessons are learned, it’s time to let them go.

Letting go isn’t just about removing negativity—it’s about making room for positivity. When you cut ties with provoking spirits, you open the door for relationships that uplift, support, and align with your purpose.

Sis, Protect Your Peace

If you’re dealing with someone who drains your energy, dismisses your feelings, or provokes your spirit, let me remind you: you don’t owe them an explanation. You don’t owe them access to your heart or your life.

You owe yourself peace. You owe yourself joy. You owe yourself the space to heal and grow without interference.

Recognize the provoking spirits in your life, sis. Call them out for what they are, and don’t hesitate to walk away. Your journey is too important, your spirit too sacred, to let anyone disrupt it.

Moving Forward

I’m still healing, still growing, still learning. But one thing I know for sure is this: I’m not afraid to let go anymore. I’m not afraid to protect my peace, even if it means cutting ties with people I thought would be in my life forever.

Sis, you have that same power. You are strong, you are deserving, and you

are enough. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

With love and clarity,

E 💜