Healing from Love: A Real One’s Journey Back to Herself

First Things First: Understanding the Pain of Lost Love 💔 

Let’s stop pretending heartbreak is just a phase you “get over.” Nah. Let’s be honest: heartbreak is a full-body experience. It don’t just hurt your heart — it bruises your ego, shakes your spirit, and has you questioning everything you thought you knew about love, people, and yourself.

Whether you walked away or got left behind…
Whether it was slow and silent or quick and cruel…
The pain still hit. The void still showed up. And suddenly, everything feels unfamiliar — your body, your smile, your peace.

Heartbreak ain’t petty. It’s grief.
And grief is messy. It don’t come with rules. One minute you’re good — posting quotes and feeling empowered. The next, you’re on the floor crying over memories, songs, and moments that don’t even make sense to cry about anymore.

Sis, let me say this loud: You are allowed to mourn.
You are allowed to break down and still be a baddie.
You are allowed to not be okay. Because what you felt was real.

We were never taught how to lose love with grace — especially not as Black women. We were taught to hold it down, make it work, fix it. And when it falls apart? We carry the shame like it’s our fault.

🪞 SOUL-PULL PROMPT:
What part of your heartbreak are you still blaming yourself for?
Write it out. Then write down five reasons it was never yours to carry.

 When Love Leaves You Empty…

There’s a silence after heartbreak that ain’t just quiet — it’s haunting. It’s the silence in your phone, in your bed, in your own thoughts.
You sit in it, overthinking every word, every sign, every moment where you maybe should’ve left — but stayed.

“Was I not enough?”
“Did I do too much?”
“Why did I love so hard for someone who didn’t even love me whole?”

Stop right there, Queen.

You didn’t love wrong. You just loved someone who couldn’t receive you. Someone who didn’t even know how to love themselves, let alone match the depth of what you were giving.

This pain isn’t proof that you failed. It’s proof that you’re human. That your heart was open. That your love was pure. And that’s powerful.

What you’re feeling right now isn’t weakness — it’s sacred grief. It means your soul is detoxing. You are being stripped of everything that kept you small, codependent, and stuck.

And trust me — that emptiness? It won’t stay empty.
That silence? It’s space being cleared for your rebirth.

🖊️ TRUTH-TELLING PROMPT:
What do you miss — the person, or the version of you that felt wanted, chosen, or safe? Be real with yourself.

Sis, It’s Time to Re-Meet Yourself

You’ve spent so much time being someone else’s “better half” that you forgot you were already whole.
You forgot what your laugh sounded like when it wasn’t trying to make someone stay.
You forgot what peace felt like when it wasn’t temporary.

But here’s the good news: You get to reintroduce yourself.
This time, without the filters, without the performing, without the emotional labor that love demanded and never reciprocated.

Rediscovery ain’t about being the woman he lost — it’s about becoming the woman you almost forgot you were.

What do you love when no one’s watching?
What turns your soul on that has nothing to do with romance?
What parts of you did you put on pause just to feel “wanted”?

Baby, go find her. Not for him. Not for revenge. But for you.

🖊️ REBIRTH PROMPT:
Write down three parts of yourself you buried in that relationship — and how you plan to resurrect them this season.

New Energy, New Everything

You ever notice how everything around you starts to feel new once you let go of what was draining you?

Colors pop again. Your skin glows different. You move different. That’s the glow-up nobody can deny — the internal one. The one that don’t need validation, applause, or a “look what you lost” post.

This is your divine permission slip to reinvent yourself.
New hobbies. New habits. New hustle. New mindset.
Try things you used to think weren’t “you.” Make mistakes. Learn. Laugh hard. Go places you’ve never been. Say yes to yourself without second-guessing.

You’ve got all this sacred energy coming back to you — energy you used to pour into someone else. Now it’s time to reinvest that into your own evolution.

🖊️ RECLAMATION PROMPT:
Write down a “New Me” bucket list — not based on revenge or proving anything, but based on joy, curiosity, and alignment.

💞 Don’t Isolate. Elevate.💞

Sis… strong don’t mean silent.

Too many of us suffer in private, wearing pain like perfume and silence like armor. But isolation is where shame grows. And you ain’t got nothing to be ashamed of.

You loved out loud. You showed up. You tried.
And now, you deserve a community that holds you when you’re too tired to hold yourself.

Surround yourself with women who get it. Women who won’t judge your breakdowns, who hype up your bounce-backs, and remind you of your divinity when you forget.

This ain’t the season for suffering alone.
This is the season for soul circles, sacred sisterhood, and safe spaces that pour into you.

🖊️ SUPPORT SYSTEM PROMPT:
List the five people who make you feel the safest to be raw and real. If you don’t have five, make it your mission to build that tribe.

Self-Care Ain’t a Trend, It’s a Revolution

Let’s be real: Black women have been taking care of everybody since forever.
We carry it all. We heal the village. We bounce back from trauma like it’s normal.

But baby, who heals the healer?

Self-care isn’t optional. It’s a spiritual assignment.
It’s revolutionary in a world that benefits from your burnout.

And self-care ain’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s sleeping in. Turning off your phone. Telling folks “no” without the explanation. Sometimes it’s sitting with your own sadness, letting it wash over you, and trusting that peace is coming.

Make your rituals holy. Light candles. Say affirmations. Dance half-naked in your room to Beyoncé and Mary J. Cry in the tub and then moisturize your soul.

This ain’t fluff. This is survival. This is restoration. This is how we rise.

🖊️ RITUAL PROMPT:
What does your body, spirit, and soul need more of this month? How can you start giving it to yourself without guilt?

Set the Vibe for What’s Next

This ain’t the end of your story — it’s the beginning of your becoming.

Set the vibe. Not just goals. Vibes.
That energy you walk into every room with. That standard you hold even when nobody's watching. That vision of you that makes your younger self proud.

Set boundaries so tight, disrespect can’t even breathe near you.
Set intentions that match your worth.
Set expectations that make room for only the divine.

The love you want will find you, but right now? It’s about becoming the woman who knows she’s already full, already glowing, already whole.

🖊️ FUTURE YOU PROMPT:
Write a letter to the woman you’ll be 6 months from now. What does she look like, feel like, walk like? What did she have to let go of to become this version of herself?

Final Word: You Didn't Break — You Bloomed

Sis… your softness is still sacred. Your tears still count.
What happened to you wasn’t the end — it was the awakening.

You didn’t lose your power. You just gave it away.
But now? You takin’ it all back. In stilettos or slides. With a candle lit or a blunt in hand.
You are still sacred, still chosen, and still HER.

This is your return. Your reclaiming. Your renaissance.

So rise, Queen. Not because you have to…
But because you were born to.

 Nightcap Thought:
Before bed tonight, whisper this:

"I release what hurt me. I honor what taught me. I am walking into my healing like a throne."

Now close your eyes and rest, sis.
You’re safe now.
You’re coming back home to you.

With grit, grace, and all the glory,
— Coach E